Skip to content
DROP 001 window Open Closes {CONFIRM} Dispatch 7 to 10 days after close Free UK shipping over £60
Proper Hardman
Crest of the Greater Bantershire Constabulary, a fictional police force.

Greater Bantershire Constabulary

Evidence file, open

The case file

The record as it stands. Entries are dated where the date is known and marked as not confirmed where it is not.

Case no.
GBC/PH/001
Subject
Proper Hardman
Status
At large
Last seen
Shopping centre concourse, 21:40
Classification
215gsm
Charges
None. Nothing has been done wrong.
File opened
{CONFIRM}
A weathered public notice board photographed at an angle, lit hard from one side.
Plate 1. Notice, as posted.

£5,000 REWARD - PAYABLE IN COMPLIMENTS

01

Entries

Six entries. The file has not been closed and there is no procedure for closing it.

  1. 01 ORIGIN

    A name on a scoreboard

    The character begins as a handle in an online shooter, chosen because a bald head and a hard reputation seemed funny together. It is not a business plan. It sits unused for years.

  2. 02 {CONFIRM}

    The subject is filmed in a shopping centre

    A man walks the length of a retail concourse being narrated as Britain’s hardest man. Bystanders react. The subject does not. The register is set here and has not moved since.

  3. 03 {CONFIRM}

    Further material is recorded

    A suburban garden. A fast food restaurant, at breakfast. Night-time residential streets. A studio interview conducted with complete gravity. Nine pieces in total, none of which break character at any point.

  4. 04 {CONFIRM}

    The garment is specified

    A 215gsm blank is chosen over the 150gsm cloth the category normally uses, and one-colour plastisol screen printing over the cheaper method that fades. The decision costs more per unit and is made anyway.

  5. 05 {CONFIRM}

    Drop 001 opens

    Two designs, one undecided slot, and a pre-order window. The run is placed the day the window closes. No stock is held before that and none is held after.

  6. 06 ONGOING

    The subject remains at large

    No arrests. No charges. £5,000 reward, payable in compliments.

Notes for the file

Greater Bantershire Constabulary is not a real police force. No real force, officer or crest appears anywhere in this file. The reward is payable in compliments and in nothing else, and no money will be paid to anybody.

The subject has not been arrested, charged, cautioned or spoken to. Nothing has been done wrong.